When imposter syndrome strikes again
I have been in this game for a long time. I pride myself in passing on valuable advice and support to people who strive to be more conscious leaders. In this role I like to think that I have a good level of knowledge and that I am adept in communicating that to my clients and my tribe. Imposter syndrome, for me, hadn’t reared its head in a fair while.
But then over Christmas some big changes took place in my personal life. And they triggered new insights, a different perspective on things. I will tell you more on that in my next Spark.
I started to question some of my own teachings – could it be that I had it all wrong? What does it mean for my students and my clients? I wanted to hide away. Me, a conscious leader myself, wanting to keep something back, not be truly authentic, considering not communicating with others from a position of complete honesty.
There she was, turning up on my doorstep like the prodigal daughter. Hello imposter syndrome, old friend.
Of course, my feelings were perfectly valid. My mind was doing what scientists do when they run experiments. I was testing my working hypothesis based on existing knowledge and experiences. It just so happened that over Christmas some new information entered the equation, so I had to run my test again.
And my hypothesis just needed an adjustment that’s all, in light of this new data. Did that mean that everything I previously stood for meant nothing? No. Did it mean that I would have to abandon all of my teachings and go back to the drawing board, writing letters of apology to previous clients? Of course not.
My new experiences have added to what I can offer as a mentor, rather than detract from it. And who am I to keep this from the world? How can I live in line with my true purpose if I keep this hidden? By being truly honest with myself I was able to embrace these changes, rather than shy away or ignore them, and in doing so, I am better than I was before.
How about you?
Are you keeping something to yourself because you’re afraid of what might happen? Imposter syndrome is a tricky mistress and she’ll have you believing that if you take a step outside your comfort zone then everyone will point and laugh. But she’s wrong. Be brave and power through. Trust me, you’ll be the better for it.
And we need you that way!